I really don’t know what I want to do as a career. I’ve got no ideas. The only thing I know for sure I want to be… is rich.
Luckily, I do have one incredible Million Dollar Idea. And since I feel like everyone should bask in my brilliance, I am going to share it with you.
And you’re going to steal it.
That’s okay. The idea that I have requires direct interaction with many other humans, so I doubt I would ever use it. I’m not talking about some kind of pyramid scheme here: This idea is pure genius, even though it might take a while to implement. Here’s the plan:
1.) Go to an airport, or some other equally crowded place.
2.) Select a target: An old woman is the best. Or a child. Someone traveling alone is ideal.
3.) Walk over where the person can see you. Look worried and pretend to search your clothes and wallet.
4.) Sigh exasperatedly and sheepishly go up to your target. Say, “This is embarrassing, but I don’t seem to have enough money to take the bus home.”
5.) Once your target is looking at you, you must lay it on thick. Say you have a small child arriving home from school who will be stuck outside until your arrival. Say you have to get home by 5:00 or else your psycho ex will break into your house with a chainsaw and lie in wait until you get there. Make it good.
6.) Ask the person for a dollar.
7.) Repeat 999,999 more times if successful. If not, repeat 1,000,000 times.