If there’s something worse than updates, it’s the update notifications.

Like it’s not bad enough that you have to get everything changed on your phone or computer or iTunes (yes, I’m calling you out here, iTunes).  The second I’ve figured out how to set my lock screen picture and add music to my playlists and get my phone to connect to a network automatically – they change it.

Here’s my theory:  The folks that keep putting these updates out there have a secret method of spying on us.  I don’t know how, and I don’t know why.  All I know is that they do it.  Somehow, they must measure the time it takes us to get logged on, fiddle with the settings, and start work.  When this time drops below a certain number, they know we understand how to do everything.  And that’s when they do it.  That’s when the little window pops up.

Update #4.0.∞ is  now available.  Click here to install.

Being of sound mind and slow Internet connection, I tend to not do these things right away.  I wait until I can get to the library and sit there for an hour in a cold sweat wondering what the hell they’re doing to my phone this time.

This, however, leads to a bigger problem:  The endless stream of notifications.

When you go online:  Would you like to update your carrier settings?

When you open an app:  Bug fixes and more user-friendly interface available!

When you unlock your phone:  Update 6.2.3 for iPhone 4S now features a more confusing layout, random apps you don’t need, and something that will prevent your computer from sharing your phone’s Internet connection until you reset all your carrier settings again!

Okay, so maybe they aren’t as honest as that.

Meanwhile, if you comment on this, know that it’ll take a while for me to reply.  I can’t use my computer right now.

It’s updating.