I’ve figured out what’s wrong on this planet (besides the words President and Trump sitting next to each other).
It’s that we get dressed in the mornings.
Personally, I hate picking out clothes the night before. It’s a grotesque reminder that the next day, I have to get out of bed and do stuff that cannot be done in pajamas. (Reminder: Anything that cannot be done in pajamas is BAD.)
So I don’t do it. Instead, I wake up in the morning and grab whatever I can find out of the closet.
There are two problems with this. One, I’m half asleep when I get out of bed. Two, it’s freezing in the morning. When these factors combine… well, it isn’t pretty.
At that hour, the cold is the only thing that can pierce through my sleep-deprived fog. Unfortunately, my response is to do whatever I can think of to get the cold to go away.
My decision-making skills are not at their best before 6 AM.
Think hoodie over flannel over pajama top + jeans over sweatpants over pajama bottoms.
Moral of the story: Getting dressed for the day when cold is like going grocery shopping when you’re hungry. Getting dressed when cold and tired is like doing it when you’re hungry and drunk off your ass.
But, since Trump is convinced that global warming is a myth, it won’t be long before mornings are no longer cold.
Nice how these things have a way of working themselves out, isn’t it?