A/N: It has recently come to my attention that being interested in osteology is ‘creepy,’ so label me what you will.
For a few years now, there have been both figurative and literal skeletons in my closet. And my dresser. And my nightstand.
However, a particular story comes to mind.
My mom and I were in a coffee shop – I was fourteen at the time – and I actually looked halfway decent for once in my leather jacket and Screamin’ Skeleton earrings. I was on my tablet, scrolling through a website that had all kinds of human skulls for sale (legally, I’m sure). It was just me and my mom and the lady behind us who was not-so-subtly looking over my shoulder.
Lady: Oh my.
I turned around.
Lady: *backing up* Oh, well, it’s just that you look so… professional with your little tablet and your… uh… purse.
(The ‘purse’ in question was actually a black shoulder bag that had chains and a skull surrounded by flowers on the front. It was very chic.)
Me: Thank you!
Lady: You’re welcome…
Of course, sleeping dogs never stay asleep for very long. I continued to scroll down the page, and the lady grew brave enough to come closer.
I looked up and smiled, showing just a hint of teeth.
Lady: Oh, I was just trying to see what exactly it was you were looking at there.
I not-so-subtly tilted the tablet away.
Now, in a perfect world, I would have been able to tell her (in detail) about how the first skull I had fallen for – I called him Yorick – had been sold two months before, and how I was destined to roam the website in search of another soulmate. It was heartbreaking. I’m sure if she’d heard the whole thing, she would have cried – for one reason or another.
But this is an imperfect world, and they called her name, and she grabbed the drink and left before I had the chance to finish talking to her. At the time, it seemed a little strange that her name was Kevin; but I’m sure her parents had a reasonable explanation for it. Just like I’m sure there was a reasonable explanation for the guy across the room suddenly standing up and yelling “STOP THIEF.”
Oh well. It wasn’t any of my business anyway.